Rainbows, Elves and Leg Fairies

**IPhone blogging here. Spelling/grammar mistakes. To be read at your own risk.

We woke up to rain this morning in our plush hotel in Queenstown. Man have we been lucky with weather so far. If this rain were here just yesterday we wouldn’t have been able to go on the quads. That’s luck.

After an early breakfast we piled into Ernie for a long drive. “How long?” Asked Kellen.

“Yep, a long one” answered Tess in true Tess form. If the answer isn’t “just 20 minutes” then it’s something totally noncommittal . The only other answer we get to questions is “undulating”.

Normally I can’t stand long drives. I want to get to my destination in the quickest time possible no matter what. But it’s different here. We are constantly surrounded by beauty. Plus Ernie makes lots of pit stops in cute little towns for us to use the loo and stretch our legs. It really breaks up the long drives.

After a while (20 minutes?) the rain let up for a bit and the most spectacular rainbow appeared in full form. But the most incredible thing happened. We found the end of it! Who ever truly finds the end of a rainbow, pot of gold and all? We did! (Photo taken after we collected the pot.)

Driving into the Fiordland National Park is just insane. There are massive mountains of granite slabs on either side of the road and due to all the rain, literally hundreds of waterfalls everywhere you look.

We drove through this really long, dark, craggy tunnel while Ernie blasted music from Lord of the Rings. It was PERFECT.

Our first stop was to do a short walk around Mirror Lakes. It was rainy but didn’t matter. In fact, the clouds and water gave it a mystical vibe.

The big hike up the Routeburn Track was next. This is the one I had been nervous about. But a miracle happened. The leg fairy came last night and brought me new ones. I had put my old worn out legs under my pillow and it really worked! I felt great!

Back on the bus Laura had us pick from a menu so our dinner could be preordered tonight. The quinoa salad sounded good but I never heard of halloumi cheese.

“Oh you know halloumi, it’s squeaky cheese”. Ah, clarity.

Next we drove a bit more and stopped at another spot to hike to another amazing waterfall. Every track we climb seems more enchanted than the next. It is no wonder “The Lord of the Rings” was filmed in New Zealand. I swear if I saw an elf come darting across the track, I wouldn’t even be that surprised.

When we finished we climbed into Ernie.

“Everyone here?” asked Tess.

“Yes!” we all answered, and off we went.

After just a minute or two Rich says in his most casual voice, “Sorry to interrupt but I have a quick question for you Tess.”

“Yes Rich, what is it?” said Tess.

“Where’s Borut?” and poor Ernie came to a screeching halt. We left Borut. Now the problem was that we were on a very narrow 2-lane road with no place to turn around. So Superhero-Laura (Guide) jumped out and ran back to the lot to collect Borut.

“I’m never going to be the last one back to Ernie” laughed Borut.

“Damn, I almost got my own room joked Rich”

“Borut, next time speak up if you’re not here, sheesh!” said Griffin.

Tess felt so bad but we all had to really rub it in because it was so funny.

The only unlucky thing today was that Kellen got a wonky stomach and spent our hikes resting in Ernie. He couldn’t eat anything so we knew it was pretty bad. This is not a kid who skips meals.

Lots of short stops for walks and pictures then over to the only accommodation in Milford Sound where travelers can stay: The Milford Lodge. We were expecting a no-frills backpacking lodge but this place is super nice. Every room has incredible views. I just wish we had a wee bit more time to enjoy it here. 6:30am we start tomorrow. I love these action packed filled days, this is totally my style. We can rest on the flight home.

New words:

Togs- bathing suit

Halloumi- squeaky cheese

Squeaky Cheese- has consistency of tofu, a bit salty, fries up firm- “DEE-licious”as Tess would say.

Our One Day Off

Queenstown has to be the cutest touristy town I have ever been in.  It’s super small but packed with tourists.  The darling little streets that don’t allow cars are filled with tables and chairs from all of the restaurants around.  It is absolutely charming.  Queenstown marks our half way point of this trip.


Tess and Laura recommended we have breakfast at “Vudu”.  It was totally my kind of place.  I ordered a Tumeric Latte and a Superfood Power Bowl filled with spinach, beets and sweet potatoes.  Kellen’s french toast was a true piece of art, which he promptly inhaled.


We spent the morning off-roading on quads and had a great time.  It was sooooo nice to have a motor to take me up the hills.  I soooo appreciated it!


River boarding is rafting on a boogie board.  They had a great time, though Laura claims to have escaped the whole thing barely alive.  She marveled at Griffin’s fearlessness.  Which is just another way of saying, she is amazed that someone without any common sense or survival instinct is still alive.


The only other thing worth mentioning about this glorious day off is that The Floof is no more.

Big Floof

We literally spent the rest of the day doing nothing.  Just nothing.  I am saving my legs, praying that they will rejuvenate into new ones with just one day’s rest.  And if they are going to be new legs, can I have Guide Laura’s?  What if we trade legs, just for tomorrow’s hike?  I can unscrew mine, and screw on hers.  I promise to give them back after tomorrow.  I just have the feeling I am going to need a bit of help with The Routeburn Track.  It’s a doozy and we are forcasted for rain.


Happy Birthday Funcle Rich

It’s Rich’s birthday today and it’s our duty to embarrass him as much as possible.  We all changed our home screens on our phones to funny and very unflattering pictures of him to start.

My home screen

Today it’s “bags to Ernie” at 8:30 am after another incredible breakfast from Chef Laura.  OMG the bacon is NZ is soooo good!  So are all of the fruits and vegetables.


Before we left, another Active Adventures group had arrived.  In retaliation for the book that was hidden in Tess’s pack (who knows if these guides were even involved?) Guide Laura put a large “wheelie bin” inside their trailer.  Later, we found that wheelie bin in the middle of the narrow road right when we were trying to leave.

Today we have a 3-4 hour mountain bike ride.  All I can say is thank God because I could not climb one more hill today.  I had a hard time just climbing into Ernie after yesterday’s hikes.  I need to give all of my hurting parts a break and hurt some other parts now.  I do spin classes twice a week, but I can’t remember the last time I rode a bike that moves, so today is sure to do me in.

Tess told us to meet at the half way point which was by a bridge.  She brought a New Zealand Power Point presentation (laminated pictures stapled together) which showed pictures of the trail so we knew which way to go.  Very useful!  It was a picturesque trail with, you guessed it, undulating hills!


Before we left, Tess said, “Why has my small pack been so heavy?” and she found a giant rock wrapped up at the bottom.  These Active Adventure guides just don’t quit!

At the “half way point” Tess told us that we had just over two hours left to go.

“How long have we been riding for?” asked Hubby.

“Just under an hour.” replied Tess.  That’s kiwi math, because we are on the other side of the equator and all.

We came to part of the lake where a dog was having the best day ever.  No one told him how cold the water was.  The best part of our bike ride was watching that dog in the water because we are all dog-starved.  That didn’t come out right.  Let me explain:  There are very few dogs where we’re traveling within New Zealand, because they are not allowed in any of the National Parks.  So when we actually see one, we need our fix!


By the end of the ride, we were all exhausted and many were sore.  Tess and Laura had a picnic lunch waiting for us and then they surprised Rich with champagne and chocolates.  We all sang as LOUD AS WE POSSIBLY COULD!  Just to be obnoxious.  ‘Cause we love Funcle Rich!

Even Super-Human Guide Laura is pooped!

Now we were heading to Queenstown for an entire free day tomorrow!  My body soooo needs a day off.  Or a month.  Laura passed around the brochures so we could choose which adventure, if any, we want to do on our one day off.  Queenstown is the “big city” around here and there are a hundred different ways you can choose to kill yourself from bungee jumping to skydiving to river rafting and everything in between.  Marleen and Borut both chose to take a true day off.  Rich, Laura and Griffin chose River-boarding while Steve and Kellen were going off-roading on quads.  I was set for a day at the spa.

We did a quick stop at the “bra fence”, yes, that’s right, an entire fence of women’s brassieres.  There’s a whole story as to why the bras are there, but really who cares?  It’s a BRA FENCE!  The men on Ernie couldn’t be bothered but we women had a great time!



Driving into Queenstown was as beautiful as ever.


We had no idea where we were staying, but when Ernie pulled up to the super nice Crown Plaza, we were giddy.  At least I was.  I was very ready for a nice hotel with LAUNDRY machines and a fluffy bed with too many pillows.

We showered and walked through the quaint little waterfront town to dinner.  I snapped a quick shot before heading into the restaurant.


Even thought Tess and Guide Laura technically have one day and two nights off away from us, they met us at The Blue Kanoe for dinner to celebrate more of Rich’s birthday.  We had a fabulous chef’s tasting menu dinner and sang a few more rounds of “Happy Birthday” at the top of our lungs to finish off his day.

Funcle Rich and Laura from DC

Back to our hotel a luxurious night’s rest.  We have to get up fairly early to get over to the activity office in the morning.  Oh, did I say I chose a day of spa?  Nah.  I can spa anytime. I’m only in New Zealand once.  I chose quad riding with Steve and Kell.

New word:

Wheelie bin- trash can

Two things you never ask Tess:

How much longer is the drive?  It’s always 20 minutes, no matter what.

How hilly is the hike?  It’s always undulating.  Which is perfect because there is no defining how big the mountain is.  You just know that there are many ups and downs.


The Big 3 Day Hike

Kori’s travel blog has a guest DJ today.  Take it away, Steve!  (Hubby in the house!)

Day 1

We said our sad farewell to the Kayakers and drove ½ hour to Lake Rotoiti.  Like everything else in NZ, it was stunningly beautiful (though we’d get MUCH better views of it from up high in 2 days).  It took just a few minutes to saddle up and start our 7 mile hike to Lakehead hut.


Wait a second, rewind…weren’t we just wine-tasting an hour ago?  Why yes we were!  Victory drinks before the hikes even start…things are just backwards down here.

The hike was gorgeous.  The trail roughly followed the lake shore, but with a lot more elevation changes than you would think.  To give you an idea, it took us about 5 hours to hike 7 miles at a decent pace.

The highlight of the hike was a refreshing plunge in the lake at the end, just minutes from the hut.  Everyone wanted to jump in, despite Tess’ warnings about the monstrous fresh water eels.  {Insert “shrieking eels” reference here}  They live to be 1000 years old and grow to 50 meters or some crap like that.  We were so hot, it just didn’t matter.  Death by eel was an acceptable risk.


The hut was very cool.  Pretty much a hostel in the back country.  20 or so bunk beds around a family room/kitchen area.  Fun to meet the other travels from all over the world.  Everyone has great travel stories.  The huts are immaculate.

Dinner was followed by Tim Tam Slams, which are executed with no hands.  Basically, a PG version of a “blowjob” shot, with cookies and hot chocolate.  Laura, would you please demonstrate?  Video here.


Sunset was awesome, subtle changes of color, light, and shadow my cell phone camera couldn’t capture.  I heard the nighttime sky was amazing, but who could stay up late enough to see it after a day of drinking, hiking, swimming, and gorging?  I barely made it to sundown before I passed out.


Very fortunate statistical improbability…not one of us or our bunk-mates snored, so everyone slept like the dead until sunrise.

Day 2

Deep breath…this is the big one.  6.5 miles.  3500 feet.  With packs.  Everybody who was sounding very confident just last night is looking a little pale at the morning briefing.


The hike starts in a beautiful birch forest.  It’s relatively flat, meaning in the states we’d call it “all uphill.”  This is the warm-up.  It potentially includes a swift river crossing that we prepared for, but no one was disappointed when the river bed was empty and our shoes remained dry.  Not to be cheated, we crossed the river at sunrise as we were instructed.


Fun fact:  when you are told the elevation gain of this hike, it is the NET elevation gain.  So, every time the trail goes down and back up, it doesn’t count.  It’s as if the trail was flat, and not really so steep down you need to grab root and branch to stay upright, then struggle up the other side just to get back to where you were relative to sea level.  Did I mention we were wearing packs?

After about 2 hours of this, we hit the middle section of the trail where it becomes steeper.  From here to the hut, it’s up, up, up with one “clearing” that marks the end of this section and will be our lunch stop.

“What’s for lunch”, Griffin asks at the end of this mid-route planning session.

“The sandwiches you made this morning, silly,” says Tess.

“Oh, is that why all the sandwich stuff was out this morning?  I thought it was weird that people were having sandwiches for breakfast.”

“???”, says everyone.

“Um, I didn’t do that,” he says.

Classic Griffin. The kid who once brought 2 left shoes on a trip to Israel.

We prepare him for the inevitability that he’ll have to subsist on energy bars, while of course we all know Dad will share his precious sandwich when the time comes.  To sum up, the little bastard tricked me into carrying his lunch in my pack, where every ounce counts.

Fun fact:  the water is so pure up here, we can refill our water bottles in the streams, so we don’t have to carry too much.  Every friggin ounce counts.

We finish the middle section in good time.  In fact, I’m amazed how strong Griffin and Kellen are.  They only have a moderate amount of backpacking experience, but they’re killing it.  From hut to lunch has been about 4 hours.

The last section of the hike makes the previous parts seem tame.  It is above the tree line, so no more helpful roots which in other places acted like stairs.  We were no longer hiking.  We were “scrambling”, or maybe “bouldering.”  Maybe you’re sick of hearing how beautiful it was, but the thesaurus doesn’t have enough adjectives for this place.  We climbed beside a waterfall for an hour.  “Beside” means “reach over and splash some water from the fall in your face to clean away the sweat.”

Like yesterday, today’s hike ended at a hut beside a lake.  This time though, the lake is FREEZING, which didn’t stop Griffin, Laura, and I from jumping in for a victory splash.  Guess which one of us did NOT get their dry clothes out and ready to change into after the icy plunge?


Once we defrosted, we enjoyed unbelievable views of the lake.  Too many great pictures to post.  Here’s one:



Day 3

Wow…NOT fully recovered this morning.  52 year-old legs don’t fully rejuvenate after a good night’s sleep.  Good thing it’s all down hill from here, right Tess?  Tess?

“Not all downhill.  Undulating, really.”  she said.

In Kiwi, “undulating” must means something like “mostly uphill” because we had to climb.  In fact, we had to climb so much that I have no idea how we ended up back at Lake Rotoiti all those thousands of feet below us.  Can you even see the hut from up here, after our first “undulation” out of the valley?


We hiked the ridge line through the clouds.  We didn’t get much in terms of views for a good stretch, but it was so peaceful and surreal being surrounded by the mist.  You really lose track of time and distance on the third day of a hike like this.

The payoff was the view of the lake at the end of the ridge.  Stunning.  From there, it was endless switchbacks to our patiently-awaiting chariot, Ernie.


The only complication on the trip was that Griffin got a stomach thing of some sort on night 2, and couldn’t eat dinner.  He wasn’t much better on morning 3 and was feeling pretty weak having burned so many calories without being able to refuel properly.  So I took some of his gear and Laura took his pack, and he climbed like a champ to get back down.  We were all really proud of him pushing through his discomfort to finish the hike.  And Laura proved herself to be a friggin cyborg, carrying the extra pack the whole way.  (He was much better by the next day.)

We missed Kori, Borut, and Marlene terribly, but we were all so happy about this unique journey.  Everyone did fantastic, not a word of complaint from anyone the whole time.  The rock star of the trip was definitely Kellen.  He was the youngest hiker Tess or Laura had ever taken up there.

We Hike and Hike and Hike Some More

Blogs in order:

  • The Journey Begins
  • Airport Time
  • Big Lines and Big Hair
  • Moment of Truth
  • From Plan A to Plan B to Plan C
  • C is For Correct
  • Getting to Know Ernie
  • We Hike and Hike and Hike Some More

We got picked up early by our driver for the day, Hayden. “He’s also the school teacher” whispered Borut. “And the principal” added Rich.

Hayden dropped us off to start our hike to The Blue Pools.  We climbed over many swing bridges which never get old for Griffin.


I have never seen water so clear, you can see straight to the bottom.


This is glacier water, so not for swimming.  Way too cold.   Unless you are crazy like my friend Steve K. did when he was hiking here as a stupid teenager.  His voice never did come down back to its regular octave after that.


The trail was incredible of course. We saw a dangerous herd of buffalo in the distance and when they caught our scent, they stampeded straight at us! Only they were more like friendly cows, and there was a fence, so we were ok.


They got closer.


and closer.


Well hello cows!  Tess and Laura did not understand our a-moo-sement.


After about mile four of every hike, my left hip flexor likes to show up to the party as an uninvited guest.  Now “Right Calf” has been tagging along as if “plus ones” were even invited.

We came to a plant and Tess gathered us around.

“This is called a Lolly Tree. Take a small piece of a leaf and chew it for a few seconds before spitting it out, you will taste sweet”.

I did as I was told and soon my mouth started to tingle . “Hmm it must be peppermint because…YOWZA!!”

“Did I say Lolly Tree? Oops, I meant PEPPER tree”.

Oh that Tess and her cheeky sense of humor! My tongue burned for a long time.  I should have known from the red leaves.  I’m so gullible!


After a hike full of rolling undulating hills, the track was getting more and more narrow. We had to grab roots on the hillside to our right because there was a ledge to our left and I don’t like ledges. It was getting rockier and steeper until finally the trail ended. Then I saw the chain that went straight up the steep rock. This is not my kind of hiking. I looked at Tess and said ” Yah, I’m good here”. She told me no problem, to plant myself and wait for the others to finish as they would be coming back this way. So that’s what I did and she waited with me.

I glanced up at it and she said ” Oh you sooo want to climb that chain I can see it!”

And damn it, I did!  It scared the hell out of me, but up I went. I knew getting down would be worse but I didn’t come to NZ to be a wuss, so what the hell, I went for it. I read somewhere that you should do something every day that scares you. Check steep rock climbing off my today’s list!

There goes Steve up the chain.  Trust me that when I tell you this photo does NOT do the difficulty of this part justice.

Hiking through the hard stuff, I’ve decided that Nelly The Elephant isn’t really a good theme song for me . It’s catchy but not motivating. I need something like Jefferson Starship’s “I am the Warrior” but one that doesn’t suck because I hate that song.

I made it down the steep part with the chain alive because now I’m a freaking MOUNTAIN GOAT but one who was really ready to head back. Tess told us when we got down the hill to the beach we would stop and take a break. When we got there the wind had picked up and it was really cold. My legs were very tired from all the technical climbing over rocks and roots we did with the steep ledges, remember?  I knew we had a long hike back and I was ready for that break when Tess said, “And here’s our ride!” We couldn’t believe it. Tess and Laura hired a jet boat driver to give us a ride through the rivers with spins and tricks and all the fun stuff! When the boat driver took off his scarf and glasses to greet us, it was Hayden, our morning van driver. Who’s probably also the postal carrier, policeman and judge in this town. We all started cracking up.  Tess had DEMANDED that we bring our “sunnies” on this hike, and now we knew why.


Kellen, Maureen and Laura (not guide Laura)

The jet boat ride was insanely beautiful and insanely cold! Remember, this river is made from snow melt off the glacier but Hayden did a great job keeping us dry. It’s so amazing to have all of the river to ourselves, no one else around. What an incredible surprise, thank you Tess and Laura- well done!

After a short lunch we had two more hikes. One straight up a mountain and then we walked across the road to do a 5 mile hike with large undulating hills through an enchanted forest. We hiked over 11 miles today over very steep stuff and I’m fried. Any one of the three hikes we did today would have been an entire workout for me with a day off the next day if we were home.  The mountains win.  I saw so many beautiful things today, but nothing compares to seeing Ernie and Kermie waiting at the end of a tough hike.


I crawled back to the cabin to shower then slithered on my belly to the lodge for dinner since my legs have now quit.

My sand fly bites are being used as helpful landing points for their friends.  My legs are covered in bites that itch so bad I go could insane.  Only Rich’s legs look like mine.  What can we say?  Some of us are just more delicious than others.

What an incredible day filled with adventure and beauty. We have such an awesome group of people and the best two guides in Active Adventure, I’m sure of it.

New words:

Long drop- outhouse

Short drop-when it’s full

Peedles- bike (as in: tomorrow we are going to “push some peedles”)


Getting to Know Ernie

We walked over to the cutest cafe for a true Methvan breakfast this morning.  It was an antique store but with a country style restaurant inside.  My sister Jodi would have loved it.  We all did.


Tess found a book in her pack today.  Not just any book but a giant, super heavy one wrapped in a flannel at the bottom of her pack that she has been hiking unknowingly with every day.  Including the gnarly 3-day hike.  She carried it the whole way.  There are some guides back at base who are going to pay for this, I’m sure!

And then we were off. Today we had to drive around the west coast and southern alps to make it to our next impromptu destination. The scenery was ridiculous. Mountains on both sides, waterfalls everywhere you look and we must have passed like 100 lakes.


There is road work everywhere we go.  Either an earthquake, fire, or slip has destroyed bits and pieces of the road all around.  They say Australia has everything that wants to kill you with plants and animals, but we are finding it’s the natural disasters that want to get you here.

We had a very long drive but we took lots of breaks to walk and stretch our legs.  Tess gave us a riddle to occupy us for some time.  Here it is:

“There are 3 light bulbs downstairs, all turned off.  You are upstairs with 3 light switches, one for each bulb.  You can do anything you want with the switches, and you can go downstairs once to inspect the bulbs.  How can you tell which switch controls which bulb?”

Later, Guide Laura tried to give us a riddle too.  It included a man walking into a bar.  There was an albatross involved and potential cannibalism.   It was bad.  So bad.  And we wasted so much time with it!  Which maybe was a good thing because it really was a long drive.  Laura’s riddles need some fine tuning before disclosing in public.

We stopped by this lake to see Mt. Cook, and it was outrageous.

Mount Cook

We stopped here to eat.  We couldn’t find anyone to shear Griffin but we did look.



Everyone ordered differently but I won lunch with this delicious smoked salmon salad.


We drove through the only area in South Island that has wallabys but the first one we saw was dead on the side of the road.

“It’s a was-a-bee” said Hubby.

But soon after we saw a real live one hopping by the side of the road!

Too much Ernie time makes us all punchy and we were laughing like kids at the stupidest stuff. Then Tess told us we were stopping for a hike.

This one was fairly short but incredibly steep. I now am a hiker who uses poles and I love them. They are knee savers. It wasn’t a race to the top, and I’m not sure who was the last one up.  Yah, ok, it was me.

Kellen has turned out to be a hiking savant.  He is absolutely incredible.  Every single hike, he takes off, blows past anyone on the mountain, gets to the top, comes back down to me, then does it again.  He has unleashed his hiking potential that we didn’t know existed. I want to look into some kind out outdoor youth program for him when we get home.  He loves it.

Incredible views from the top.



Show offs!

After some more hours of driving we made it to our destination: Makarora.

“We doubled the population as soon as we arrived.” said Tess.

We were told we are staying in rustic cabins and I got a little worried. But no need because these weren’t cabins, they were gingerbread houses and we all loved them!  We are here for two nights which is such a treat with all of the moving and shaking we have been doing.



Borut and I were joking that the front desk was closed because the clerk is the same guy who is working the bar now. He’s also the pilot, town doctor and the mayor.

After Laura’s fabulous dinner of burgers “Kiwi Style” ( with pineapple and beets) we settled into our darling gingerbread houses.  That was when my sand fly bites started to really kick in. The itch was unbearable. I lay in bed wishing someone would rub industrial strength sandpaper all over my legs as hard as they could because I don’t need the top few layers of bug bitten skin. I would like it sanded down to a smooth layer of fresh, unbitten epidermis.. That would feel just oohhh so good. I would pay so much money for that.

New words:

Cabinet- counter “Order your food at the cabinet”

Entree- appetizer

mufty- without uniform or unmarked. “That’s a mufty cop” (unmarked cop car) or “The kids have a mufty school day on Friday” (no uniforms)


Answer to Tess’s riddle that only Steve figured out:

Flip 2 switches up.  After a few minutes, flip one of them down.  Then go downstairs.  The bulb that is on is the one that you left up.  The one that is off and warm is the one you flipped up and down.



Pancakes and Pancakes

I had so much grease yesterday from the mince pie then fish and chips that I woke up with a shiny film on my face from it leaking out my pores. But I do look years younger!

We also woke up to rain today. Not wussy San Diego rain but torrential monsoon stuff.

We met at Tess and Laura’s cabin for breakfast.

“You can’t come to Pancake Rocks without eating pancakes!” Said Tess.

“But please start with just one while we finish making more”

“But Kellen can’t count to one in pancakes” I said.

“His pancake number starts at four” added Hubby.

Laura made the most delicious pancakes. They were thin and crispy around the edges. Fresh berries, caramel bananas, yogurt and whip cream to accompany them.


After breakfast the rain let up and we took a short drive to do a hike with “just a nice hill” at the start.

We got to cross an awesome swing bridge. Griffin, ahead of the rest, thought it would be big fun to jump as hard as he could and swing it from side to side. Not everyone in our group was amused. But I was! I was hysterically laughing grabbing the edges but was unable to take a single step forward. We must have been doing this a long time because Laura was waiting tapping her foot. Later I heard her tell Tess that she’s never taken so long crossing a stupid swing bridge with any group before. And something else about being “easily amused”. We are!


We entered the jungle and started going up. And up. We have an extremely fit group and they all fly up the hills. I do not fly. I felt like Nelly the Elephant tramp tramp tramping off to the jungle. Let me guess, there’s no one reading this who gets this reference. It’s such a great song, and one I sang to myself the whole way up the “just a nice hill” here you go:


Laura picked some “Kawa Kawa” off a plant and told us we could all have one but only one. These little guys have medical properties and will get you intoxicated if you have as little as three. I tried to grab more because why have only one when three is the magic number?  But I got a finger wag from Laura. My little, sad, singular berry tasted a little sweet and a bit spicy. I would like to see what 10 would taste like.

Kawa Kawa

The rest of the hike had undulating hills and was the best hike I’ve ever done. It took about two hours in total, it was just fabulous.


We haven’t seen too many animals in New Zealand but we see these guys frequently. They’re called “wekas” but we call them “weird chicken things”:


Every single tourist things they are kiwis and it’s so funny to see how excited they get. But the elusive kiwi is nocturnal and we’ve been assured we will never see any. The only kiwis we are guaranteed on this trip are Tess and Laura.

During our picnic lunch Tess gathered us together to tell us some news. “Guys we have a change of plans. There’s been a pretty bad “slip” in the pass and we can’t get through to the west coast that way anymore. We have to take a much longer detour and we won’t be going to Franz Josef Glacier as planned.”

“How much longer do we have to drive now?” someone asked.

“Right” she continued avoiding the question. “The Outdoors Adventure office has already found an alternative route for us with hikes to do along the way. Look at it this way; you will get to see the whole South Island now. Everyone ok with this?” I mean what could we say? Not like any of us had much choice. “As long as we’re together we can handle anything!” I yelled.

So it was back to Ernie for a long ass drive for who knows how long, but we were all completely bonded now and in good spirits. And if you have a long drive to do, there is literally no better place on earth to do it.

After a few hours Ernie stopped and let us out to do a hike around an area the Dalai Lama himself has claimed “The Most Spiritual Place on Earth”.


Where’s Kellen?
Griffin’s hair has stopped growing up and is now only growing straight out front.

Then it was another long drive until we arrived in the town of Methvan. Outdoors Adventure has found us all rooms at The Methven Motel for the night.  With such a last minute change of plans, they did an awesome job getting us an alternative itinerary for a few days.  The change was totally seamless to us.

We had a choice for dinner ’cause Methvan is a two pub kinda town: The Brown Pub or The Blue Pub. We chose Blue and we chose well.

IMG_0327We were “shouted” local beers from our fabulous guides and Rich and Borut have been doing an awesome job keeping us all hydrated on the local wines. For dinner, Kellen went for local pulled lamb.


“Bags To Ernie” tomorrow morning at 7:00am. We have a long drive ahead of us but no one knows how long that is except for Tess.

New words for today:

slip- rock slide

Jumper- a sweatshirt

Plinth- a box-like structure you put a sculpture on ( maybe this is just a regular word that most people know, but I didn’t and and Laura got me an “h” in GHOST.

Glacier is pronounced “glassier”

“Just a nice hill”- a huge hill that totally kicks my ass

Interesting fact:

They have “Black Boy” peaches here. This shit would just never fly in The States!

* After comparing Iphone steps, we have now deemed the “Health” app a crock.  Just know that I’m doing a TON of them!